Firstly, I'll just get all of the generic greetings out of the way. Hope you all had a wonderful, and safe festive season. Blah, blah, blah. I'm a cynical kinda person so I don't get excited about Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's day, and New Year's. This year is no exception.
Christmas and New Year's Eve are two holidays which are in close proximity to each other. They are highly commercialised and have therefore lost the true spirit of the occasion, in my opinion. It gives people something other than the weather to make small-talk about.
Children only talk about what they want and got for Christmas. To me they sound like spoiled brats. When I overhear a child saying "I want...!" I just want to kick them. When I was a child, presents were not guaranteed. And the quantity depended on how well you behaved and how well we did in school. And we would certainly never demand that something be gifted. A gift was to be earned and if it was not, then it was a lesson in humility. You either take your medicine or enjoy your rewards and then spend the rest of Christmas day with the family.
New Year's Eve is an event with far too much hype that it rarely meets expectation. But to me, New Years Eve has been ruined for a more personal reason. For the last two years I had spent New Years Eve with Johnathan. The first time we were together, it was a last minute arrangement. We had been casually dating up to that point so it wasn't a big deal if we spent the night together or not. We drank lots and had a wonderful time.
Fast forward one year. Johnathan and I had been a couple for a year or so. He had made solo plans for New Years Eve and didn't want me to join him. He invited me at the last minute and I paid for a hotel for us to spend the long weekend at. When we got back to his place at the end of the weekend, he left straight away on another solo adventure while I was still holding the bags. Six months later, we broke up.
This year is the first time I've been alone on New Years for a while, so it's hard. I chose to stay home and pretend it was just another night. I couldn't bear to go out. It would've been hard work to to try having fun. Especially nearing 12 when all the happy couples start pairing off, ready to lock lips at midnight and I'd be there, ALONE.
I read in the latest issue of Cosmo, there is an article about how to methodically deal with a break-up. One 'expert' says that if your relationship lasted longer that 12 months, it will take you a year to get over it. She reasons that the whole year after a break-up should be taken to adjust to being comfortable being alone, and dealing with holidays and anniversaries solo.
I'm not so sure about that. Although, it has taken me six months to get to this stage and I'm still feeling damaged, so maybe she's not all wrong. I'm hopeful that it doesn't take me a year to feel I'm not in love with him anymore and that I can love someone new. He's already moved on (I'll have to tell you about that some other time....).
So moral of the story is, good riddance to a crappy year and here's hoping that 2012 will be much more prosperous.
Love, Imogen xx